Wild Card: Ages 18-24, You're Screwed Unless...

With the Class of 2014 halfway through turning a quarter of a century old, I thought it was appropriate to share my ripe wisdom with those that are just starting this journey or are already in the thick of it. Yes friends, here we go with some good ol' fashioned perspective on adulting.

Welcome to "Adult Middle School"

SO remember that time when you turned 10 and you thought you were going to be treated with some respect from the adults because of your double digits? Remember how you waited again at 13? 15? 16? 18? Are you still waiting for some respect to the point that you're starting to look like this guy?

Me 2! After waiting so many years for someone to acknowledge my ultimate greatness I realized some things past the simple "You just have to believe in yourself kid!"

1) Adults are just big kids who are winging it like the rest of us.

2) Some have profound knowledge from their years of fuckery and some of them are just pompous fucks who know bop diddly squat!

3)The adult world is one big middle school!

Let me elaborate on all of this a little bit without busting out the powerpoint. See when I first landed on planet adult, I landed in the rudest, dirtiest, most wonderful city on the planet. They were not nice, not patient, and if you were in the way you got shoved into traffic. Yes folks good ol' NYC is the best place to be to succeed or fail at the first stage of adulting. But for the rest of us that don't get the privilege, let me help ya out.

Adults are bullies. Not all of them, but a good majority can't wait to scold you after you fail. It's full of awkward times of floundering with no pail or paddle in sight. It sucks, but it doesn't have to entirely suck. Throughout my journey at the time, I would ask "the adults" various questions about the things I wanted to learn about adulting. At the end of the day, I was either not taken seriously, told to google it, or told a long-winded story about a time they tried to do something and never made it past the fear stage. All of this was, of course, unhelpful and I had to stumble around on my own. When I failed though, all "the adults" seemed to have all the answers about what I should've done differently or even better, that they knew this would happen.

After my millionth rejection letter, failed business, and overdue rent I took a step back and reflected on all the people I had sought advice from. It wasn't that they were terrible people, on the contrary, most of these people were friends and family that I cherished deeply. It's just that the path that I walked was so different from theirs that it was like they kept giving me a map to China when I've been trying to get to Japan. They think it's helpful but in reality, it's useless.

So how does this help me?

Every adult I have encountered is just as human as the rest of us, walking their own path with their own problems, and they know just about as much as us. The one thing all the unhappy ones can't seem to accept is this simple fact: YOU NEED TO FAIL IN ORDER TO GROW!

When we step out of high school, we think we got this and at first, we do. Then we step on a rock, hit our head, and go tumbling down the longest flight of stairs in the world. Some of us don't experience this for a while and others, well, we just trip upon entry. This goes without saying but if you want help, you need to seek it out from people who have walked the path you are just starting. Stop being afraid that everyone else knows everything and that you are helpless to their greatness. You are going to figure out very quickly that the older generations have expectations that exceed our abilities because they're a little outdated and mostly afraid. You have a duty to yourself to get off the floor and try again until it works. Whatever you are afraid to do and have no idea how to do, just go freaking do it already. Stop looking to your parents for guidance every time you want to take a shit and just massively shart out your dreams! It takes a massive amount of courage, failure, and self-love. Sit in the uneasiness of the unknown of the future and really tune into what you want out of life at this moment.

I started out at 18 in New York, going to school, and working cleaning toilets. By 22 I had hit rock bottom and had to give up my job, my apartment, and the life I created with my boyfriend in Hoboken in order to obtain what I wanted most. As I type this I will be 25 in May and am grateful to report that I have an apartment, a job, a dog, and a fiancee that I love more than anything. Being 18 is the most exciting and devastating time because you're free but can't buy a drink. Being 21 is even more devastating when you're legal but can't even afford to buy lunch, never mind a drink for your birthday! The timer on the next five years has already begun. Most people used these years to blackout on the subway after long nights of partying. Others became millionaires. Who will you be?

This "article" was written in the spirit of play and hopefully inspired you to do your best in your journey of "the middle school years" of adulting. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your years are not half as rough as mine were! If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for all the questions! Not sure if I'll have the answers, but either way my email is crystalcabrae@gmail.com so ask away and don't be shy okay? We are all in this together! Until next week...